Knowing God a Little Better

In the beginning…Eve is the first woman. Eve was deceived, she and Adam disobeyed God. Sin and death were the result.

But God knew and had a plan, and part of the amazing goodness of this plan was that he allowed our salvation, our hope, our redemption to come into the world the same way sin and death came into the world: through a woman.

Having a baby boy at Christmas was a remarkable opportunity to wonder about Mary and her privilege, her honor, her responsibility, her journey.

Through my children God has taught me about myself as his child and given me the slightest glimpse of his perspective on me.

Every frustration I have experienced with my children has been turned around and I have looked to God and said, Is this what I do to you? Is this how I look and sound to you?

A mother’s love is something marveled at the world over. But God says his love is more.

God has taught me many lessons in mother moments, these are a few…

I remember a time when my 16 month old daughter wanted a pair of scissors more than she wanted to play with me. I sat on the floor wanting nothing more than to shower her with love, but she wanted scissors, not me, and God whispered to me, Just as your love is so much better than the scissors she desires so strongly, my love and presence are even greater than anything else you will ever desire.

I learned through the pleasure of holding my children when they were sick. I took joy in being their refuge, their safe place and tenderly nursing them in their sickness. For in the day of trouble the Lord will keep me safe in his dwelling

After having more than one child I learned that love does not have limits, there is not a well that runs dry, there are no favorites and to have more children is simply to love more. Yes, I know your name Robin, you are one among the billions of people I have designed, still I am able to know you, number your hairs, collect your tears. I know you completely.

In recognizing that my children don’t see things the way I see them I have learned the limits of my own perspective. “Why can she do that and I can’t?” one would cry. “It’s not fair!” declared another. “You don’t love me!” But I knew better. I knew what I desired most for them and sometimes I knew how to guide them there. My ways are higher than your ways, God said. I know the plans I have for you…I love you so much…

And then there have been the very painful lessons, the lessons that showed me that no matter how much I loved my children, no matter what I knew, or what I did, I am not that much like God. I fail, he does not. I falter, he is steadfast. My love is imperfect, his is perfect.

So I am first and foremost his child, and only then, a very grateful mother.

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