Chagrined

cha·grin  (sh-grn)n. A keen feeling of mental unease, as of annoyance or embarrassment, caused by failure, disappointment, or a disconcerting event

I experienced a keen feeling of mental unease as of embarrassment this past weekend…

It was a busy weekend.  It was a wedding weekend.  My eldest was in town to nail down some of her wedding details.  And we would be attending my niece’s wedding.

I awoke Sunday, the day of the wedding, to beautiful weather, which is a gift for any bride, but an especially important gift for the bride being married outside.

I was in a good mood and began humming, Going to the chapel… I altered the lyrics to say

Going to my niece’s cuz she’s gonna get married….

Thinking that was rather cheery and clever I decided to post it as my facebook status.

Once online I visited my niece’s wedding website to review some of the unique elements of her wedding ceremony.

This led me to think about what I think is the most important part of the ceremony, the vows.  A bride and groom are entering a covenant  and making promises, and what they promise is important.

That reminded me of a blog I wrote for Valentine’s Day 2010. Valentine’s Day “when girls dream that red hearts and chocolate will lead to a white dress and cake.”

Now I was very cheerful, enjoying that turn of phrase and thinking how clever I am.  So I added the blog link to my facebook status about my niece so anyone who hadn’t read it would have another chance.

It’s a good blog, talking about what remains after the wedding, the promises, and the idea that we really don’t go into the wedding day thinking about a future day when we will get to keep those promises.  Good, thoughtful message.

And I thought to myself, has anyone read this?  It’s good stuff.

And that’s when I felt chagrined.  It was the thought that followed that got me.  A thought that recognized a parallel possibility.  And it was a question as these thoughts often are…

Wonder if God ever feels that way, about his writing?  The Bible.

Has anyone read this?  It’s good stuff.

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