I have been thinking a lot about change. But not just change like changing your clothes or your hair color. I have been thinking about transformation. A change so significant that what once was is no more. Like a chemical change. Being changed from the very depth of my being.
Like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. What does one have to do with the other? How different they are! They look different, they function differently. One day a round, wingless, multi-legged, crawling, worm-like creature. And then the transformation into a sleeker, winged, delicate, colorful, flying, flower-like creature.
As I understand it, I am undergoing a transformation. I will change from a person who puts self first, who thinks she knows more than anyone else, who hurts others, into a person who puts others first, who is humble, who brings healing. A person who resembles God.
Sometimes it seems impossible. How can I be transformed into a person like Jesus?
But there it is. We know caterpillars do transform into butterflies. They go into their cocoons and undergo the most amazing transformation imaginable.
Reflect on this. That is some significant body changing going on. That’s not a makeover, that is total body reconstruction. Almost like dying and being reborn as something totally different.
I wonder, does it hurt?
I personally find the transformation process to be a painful experience. The self, the flesh, the old nature dying and me being reborn as someone entirely different, someone like Jesus. Self dies hard. In my mind self dying looks like that scene at the end of the second terminator movie, in which the second terminator is in the molten steel, and he thrashes around fighting it to the last.
I thrash around too.
So I look at the butterfly and wonder, does it hurt?
I think it must.
But, wow, was it worth it.